fuzzbean.net

University of Washington, in order to curb the number and severity of measles epidemics on their campus, requires all students to submit evidence of measles immunization or history of disease. One can submit original vaccination records, a letter on physician’s letterhead with dates of immunization, or have one’s physician fill out a form, provided by UW for one’s filling-out convenience.

I can’t find my vaccination records. I know they happened, because they had to, but I can’t find them. This is what comes of moving every six months.

The doctor who had charge of me when I was busy being immunized for things like measles lives and works in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I last saw him in June of 2001. My medical records have long since been moved into archives (but I have a copy of most of them. Except the immunization records. Of course.)

So it’s options 2 and 3 that we need to play with.

Step 1: Call medical center. Leave a message with the receptionist.

Step 2: Wait for call back.

Step 3: Get call back. Have long discussion with nurse about exactly what I need for UW to be happy.

“Your records have been moved into archives; we’ll need to have you come in for an appointment.”

“Um. I live in Los Angeles.”

“Oh. Well, then you’ll need to go to your physician to have blood drawn for a titer.”

“Um. UW says you can just fill out this form.”

“Yes, but you need to prove immunity, not just vaccination for nursing school.”

“Um. I’m. Um. I’m not going to nursing school. I’m going to library school.”

“Oh. Well, the note here says nursing school.”

“Um. I don’t know where she got that. Library. Definitely not nursing. Library.”

“Well, you’ll still need to go in to get blood drawn for the titer.”

“Look, I have the form Dr. M—– filled out and signed for my undergrad college. It’s got dates of immunization and everything.”

“Can’t you just send that to UW?”

“Uh, no. Bureaucracy. Can I send it to you with the UW form and you can see that seven years ago Dr. M—– said that I got immunized for measles on these dates and then fill out the new form?”

Deep sigh from the nurse. “I guess you can send that over and we’ll take a look at it and see if it’s okay.”

Step 4: Fill out top part of form.

Step 5: Scan form in using C’s computer. Email file to self.

Step 6: Convert UW file and old undergrad file to PDFs.

Step 7: Write a cover letter.

Step 8: Email PDFs and cover letter to a friend who can fax them from her computer. (I’m supposed to have faxing-via-email capability through work. I can receive but not send. I’ve spent entirely too long trying to get this fixed and have given up and now just email things to coworkers to fax out.)

Step 9: Wait. Wait. Wait.

Step 10: Get faxed, completed form back from doctor’s office via email.

Step 11: Strip out unnecessary pages from the emailed file. Print to PDF.

Step 12: Email PDF to coworker to fax to UW.

Three computers (including my coworker’s), four file formats, five hours, and six email/fax transmissions later I have sufficient evidence that I was immunized against measles to make the public health people happy.

I should have just forged the goddamn thing in the first place.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 8th, 2008 at 8:05 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.